Family… redefined…

When my children were little, my home was always the place where the neighborhood kids congregated. I loved having the kids around, and as a homeschooler, I was usually more available than other parents. I loved moving through my day to the sounds of children at play. As they became pre-teens and then high schoolers, my home was sleep over central, the place to go on Friday and Saturday night, the place to be! Every holiday brought gangs of kids for days of egg dying or costume making or sewing and cooking holiday gifts for friends and classmates. I was the mom who the girls went to for advice when they weren’t yet ready to talk to their own moms. The mom the boys would hug good night when they were old enough to need to declare their independence from their own mom, but young enough to still need a hug! I loved every minute.

As they moved into their college years, I found myself, at various times, being Mom to a nephew for three years, one of their childhood friends for three years, and another for almost a year. Those were whirlwind times, with my house feeling much like the “Friends” TV show! All those 20 somethings eating pizza and playing games and hanging out in my living room. The really fun part was that I was just “one of the gang” and I got to experience a life style that I skipped  in my 20s, since I married and started a family when I was young.

And throughout the next few years,  my own kids were often boomeranging back home between jobs and school and apartments and life events.

For a few years – or was it minutes – things were quieter. Then I had first one, and then another of my friends going through a rough divorce and needing a roof and some mothering, come and live with me for extended periods of time.

Empty nest syndrome has not been an issue. When I’m out and about, and run into a friend I haven’t seen in a few weeks, they always laugh and ask who’s living with me now!

A year ago, due to a major health issue, my son and his father came to share my space. Both my daughters were here for weeks, too, as we cared for their dad throughout his surgery and recovery. Then we three (son, his dad & I) settled into an unusual new pattern of being adult roommates. My son is working and in college full-time. His dad has retired and is now, a year later, feeling fit and healthy.

Now, my family composition is changing once again. My daughter has suffered from migraine headaches for several years, but was always able to work or go to school. A year ago, a migraine started, and she has been totally incapacitated for months and months, unable to work or go to school, and some days, unable to even get out of bed. She is better than a year ago, although not well, and as a family we have decided to more her here where we have access to better medical professionals and she will have more people around her to provide emotional and physical support. We are now in the process of moving her and her fiancé into our home.

My youngest daughter is here from Oregon for a week, and we are packing and moving things into storage, partitioning the living room into two rooms, moving my studio into the new space and getting the studio space ready for my daughter, her fiancé and “Andy” their baby parrot.

My life has taken many interesting twists and turns over the years, and gone in directions I certainly could not have predicted. My family composition has changed and changed and changed again. Now I’m off on a new adventure,  as we redefine our family once again.