heartsongs

Weaving my way around Rheumatoid Arthritis.

It’s all in the name.

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It’s been raining since the middle of the night. A cold, persistent, fall rain. I love the rain, once it starts. It’s the build up that’s bothersome.

The wondering if this will be the storm that kicks off the next flare.

The little aches and pains, the increased stiffness, that start to show as the storm approaches.

The amazing fatigue that has no causal relationship to anything I’ve done.

The anger at RA for responding to something completely beyond my control.

The fear that this storm will kick off a really bad flare, like the storm last October, or an unimaginably bad flare, like other’s with RA describe.

Then the sadness. The empathy for the others who live with some form of arthritis and are living through their own flares caused by this very same storm.

And the terror that my children have this disease.

And then the rain comes. The flare eases. My joints behave. The swelling and redness abate. The fatigue resolves. Life returns to normal.

This was a gentle storm, resulting in a tiny, baby flarette. Barely noticeable. A year ago, I would have wondered why my elbow ached, wondered when and how I used it wrong. Wondered how I had tweaked my index finger, why my hand was a little too weak to easily open a jar. Wondered why I had a slight headache. Why I was extra tired. And then shrugged my shoulders and gone about my business.

Now I know all those are part of RA. The symptoms are the same, but now they have a name. And the name changes everything.

 

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Written by wovensongs

October 29, 2011 at 9:39 am

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